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What is ‘pegging’? A complete guide

Pegging is a pretty popular past time for many couples, but what is it? Basically, it’s a woman giving a man anal pleasure wearing a strap-on toy (dildo).

Many men, straight or otherwise, enjoy the sensation of pegging and rightly so. The prostate gland is a few inches inside the anal sphincter and when stimulated can lead to climax without any penile stimulation.  If done correctly, you could find that pegging leads to a pretty intense and unusual orgasm.  Naturally, there may be concerns for men who haven’t tried anal penetration before.  In this article, we’ll address some basic issues to help you understand and prepare for anal play with your female partner. These include:

  • How can I ask my partner to do this to me?
  • What do we need to prepare?
  • Will it hurt?
  • How do we stimulate the prostate with pegging?
  • Does it make me less of a man?
  • Will I poop?

And there are probably many more considerations running through your mind, but we’ll tick off these big ticket items first.  Leave comments if there are any other things that you’d like us to review.  We update our articles regularly and will add new information.

How can I ask my Partner to get involved in pegging?

Well, you probably know your partner best, but there are a few things you can do to smooth the path towards an open conversation about your partner giving you anal.

First, if you think it will be acceptable to her, you could ask her to apply pressure to your anal opening with a finger or insert a finger slightly during sex.  This will open her mind to the possibility that you enjoy anal stimulation and make later conversations a bit easier.

Next, when you’re in a relaxed, neutral setting, but not in the bedroom, you could try talking about things you’ve never tried but would like to.  Start by asking her if there are sexual positions or acts that she’s never tried but would like to.

Showing that you’re interested in her desires will make her more open to participating in yours.  You never know, she might tell you something titillating that you can try together!

How do we prepare?

First things first – give the area a clean, go to the toilet if you feel any need to empty your bowels and get yourself relaxed.

Secondly, you will need a pegging toy of choice.  Generally, this means a strap-on dildo and a harness to keep the toy in place.

You could use a simple dildo, which your partner would insert by hand, but for a more realistic experience, a strap-on offers the ability to move more rhythmically. Plus your partner can be hands-free to caress you or to hold on to your hips while she provides backdoor pleasure.  Once you’ve chosen the right harness and toy you will need an appropriate anal lubricant.

If your toy is NOT silicone, or the manufacturer says it is safe to use, a silicone lubricant is ideal for anal play.

It washes away easily but will stay put for the duration of the act, providing a great level of slip and slide to make things more comfortable.  However, the most hygienic sex toys are made from silicone. If you have splashed out on a top end silicone dildo for your strap-on system, you will need to use a special water-based anal lubricant to make sure you don’t damage the surface of the toy (silicone loves to stick to silicone and makes it tacky).

Once you’re ready to play, if you’re feeling a bit nervous, you might find you tense up. This will particularly impact the strong and sensitive muscles of your anal sphincter.  You could try a product like Doc Johnsons’ Anal Relaxer, which is a gel that provides a warming sensation to help relax your anus.  The sensation is only temporary.  Use just a little a few minutes before trying pegging, and you might find that the pleasant warming sensation and relaxing additives make things more comfortable.

Will it hurt?

Everyone’s bottom is different! On top of that, pleasure and pain are somewhat subjective.

Some men might find pegging a little uncomfortable, but at the same time extremely pleasurable, so the benefit outweighs the cost.  Others don’t feel any pain and some men try it once and think ‘never again!’.

If you take a common sense approach to your anal play and use a strap on or dildo that is a sensible size – for example, a ‘thin’ model that is of average size (no more than 6 or 7 inches) deliberately designed to be more comfortable for anal play – you will have no problems accommodating it and are unlikely to experience pain.  You may find the sensation strange or uncomfortable, but with practice, you will find the positions and angles that are most comfortable and pleasurable for you.

Bending over and leaning on a sturdy surface, throwing your hips back, and practicing relaxing your rectum will help your bottom open up to accommodate the strap on.  When you’re ready for penetration, make sure your partner has used generous amounts of lube on you and the toy and ask her to start slowly, just pushing against your bottom.  If you tense up, you’re not ready and need to relax.  If you’re aroused and ready, you’ll probably find that you naturally relax your sphincter and ‘gape’ a little bit to allow the toy to enter.

Once penetration has occurred, the grip of your backdoor on the toy can be quite strong.  Your partner should be prepared for this.  It’s best not to push or thrust too hard to get the toy moving (unless of course, this is exactly what you want!). Rocking backward and forwards gently while holding onto your hips will allow her to work up to a pace and a depth that is comfortable for you. The golden rule for ongoing comfort is lube, lube, lube! The anal passage has no natural lubrication so you will want to keep re-applying.  Especially if you’re using a water-based lube as this tends to disintegrate a bit more quickly than a silicone variety.

If you do find pegging initially uncomfortable, read on, in the section below we discuss how to locate and pleasure the prostate gland.  While you might find the sensation of a foreign object entering your bottom a bit odd, you will almost certainly forget about it if your partner is able to locate and pleasure your prostate gland!

How do we stimulate the prostate gland with pegging?

It varies from man to man, but generally, the prostate is 2 to 3 inches inside the rectum and is on the front side of the body.  If you were locating it with a finger you would bend your finger slightly, lube it up well and slide it along the inside of the front wall of the rectal passage until you felt a bump between the wall of the rectum and about where your bladder is.

Most sex toys specifically designed for pegging will be curved at the tip or along the shaft so that you can position the curved end to stimulate the prostate.

It might be a good idea to get your partner to explore with a finger before you try using a toy.  If she is aware exactly where your prostate is, this may make it easier to navigate a toy towards the right spot.

Some men enjoy the firm pressure and some enjoy a lighter touch.  Those who have experienced prostate orgasms say that they can be very intense.  The pleasurable sensations that come from having the prostate stimulated can feel like one long orgasm because it is such a sensitive spot.  Try having your partner move fast and slow, pegging just a couple of inches inside to just brush the tip of the toy against the prostate. Or perhaps take longer, deeper, slower strokes to tease the prostate more slowly.

Like any sexual experience, the sensation that’s going to be right for you will depend very much on how sensitive your body is and what feels right for you.

Does it make me less of a man?

Anal penetration for men in the past has been a bit taboo.  Probably coming from historical perceptions that there was something wrong with anal pleasure and particularly if this was enjoyed by a man.  Sodomy was illegal for a long time for either gender.

There isn’t anything about enjoying the anal pleasure that makes men less manly. Both men and women share the basic biological fact of lots of sensitive nerve endings at the opening to the anus.  Stimulating these feels pleasurable for many people of both sexes.

Men have the added bonus of the super sensitive prostate gland inside the anal passage which can make anal penetration very sexually pleasurable.  There really isn’t anything to be concerned about if you enjoy this.  The Adult Sex Store sells lots of products specifically for pegging, so we know that there are many Australian couples out there enjoying this activity every day. Who it is at your workplace?!

Will I poop?

So saving the big questions for last! No, you will not, or are very unlikely to (never say never!) poo as a result of pegging.  Where people do experience a little bit of leakage or mess, it’s probably because they didn’t go to the bathroom adequately beforehand.  If you know you’re going to try pegging out, eat fresh food, drink lots of water and ensure you have a healthy bowel movement during the hours preceding your play.

The muscles that control whether you poo or not are deeper inside your rectum than you will probably be going with your toy, so anything that’s in there should stay in there.

So there you have it gents.  Our ‘101’ guide to pegging!

SPECIAL MENTION: We take an active interest in keeping up with what others are writing about in terms of sexual experiences and we really liked this Bustle article on Pegging – told from the perspective of the woman wearing the strap on and going into great detail about how she tried it with her partner for the very first time, we think you’ll find this very helpful too!

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